Whole Foods Daze

I suffer from a condition called Whole Foods Daze. The symptoms include things like staring at various bags of chocolate chips for several minutes, contemplating why one is labeled "vegan" is and more expensive despite having the exact same ingredients as a similar bag of chocolate chips. Or pondering whether the sugar I'm about to buy is Fair-Trade and what my conscience versus my budget allows. And then the paranoia sets in. Because I know I look like one of those crazed yuppies in my neighborhood, intensely studying food labels. Plus, so many shiny, interesting products line the shelves: if you're in the market for slippery elm or rosewater, I can direct you where to go. Not to mention the array of fresh, exotic produce like yuca, tomatillos, and burdock root-- vegetables that I've only read about in cookbooks. Mind you, I still haven't cooked with these items, but knowing what they look like and where to find them is a start. All this stimulation shorts my brain circuitry and causes me to stare lovingly at the bins full of Save the Forest trail mix, yogurt-covered pretzels, and golden-hued flax seeds when what I really need is a container of oatmeal several aisles over. My fiance has, at times, had to physically direct me toward the items we actually need and then to the check-out line. He then gently guides me to the exit.

I am spending the evening recovering from Whole Foods Daze. Once again, I managed to fill my basket with items I was convinced I needed at the time for some very important baking projects. The baking question of the week was: Should I make pistachio rosewater cookies or that vegan chocolate chip cookie recipe from the post-punk kitchen website? The answer I came up with: Bake a half-batch of each. Very smart for someone on a budget. Yet, despite the additions to my basket, for the first time in perhaps Whole-Foods customer history, my bill came to under twenty bucks. Perhaps they gave me a discount due to my obvious condition.